On Disparaging the Individual


Today’s not about love, or harmony, or togetherness, or tolerance.  Today’s all about when it’s okay to get pissed off.  It’s all about when to call someone out, when to be indignant, when to be angry because a line has been crossed.

Oooh,somebody crossed that line today, et voila!  Out come my fangs, the hissing, the retort, the accusation, the intolerance, ready to pounce and have a good ol’ fashioned catfight.

I have a rule that I truly try to observe, and that is to be tolerant when people who do not understand basic social behavior stick their big fat mouths and their ugly comments in my face or worse, ignore the warnings to stop where they are and back off.  Everyone has limits and for me it is this:

Direct and personal attacks on internet postings (Oh, shut up asshole, you’re whining! or the single word, Waaaah!) are like a red cape to a big bull and ooh, baby, I got horns.

I actually had to post this photo as the background on my Facebook profile:


That’s right, ZERO bullshit tolerance.

I don’t usually respond to negative, churlish bombast.  I dislike it when I feel people’s disregard for the feelings of others or my own feelings for that matter, and do the one thing I hate most; make an unreasonable, unwarranted attack on a person’s character.

I might have a disagreement with someone but if that person is a private individual (John Smith as opposed to, say, Donald Trump) then I do not disparage the individual.  A person is allowed to be what they are but just because they are in reality an asshole, I’m usually not one to start name-calling, no matter what they say.  A public person?  Fair game.

Unless, of course, an individual fucks with me first.  Then, out come the fangs, but only when they don’t take the hint and back off.

Even then, I dislike having had the experience at all, but I will be damned if I let a socially backward, irresponsible fuckwad drag me into the mud.

AAAAAND, then it happens.


When we are egged on, a lot of things can make us snap the ol’ noodle and put on the Wolverine knife-gloves.  But when you’re bipolar, there are times when irritation levels soar and you have to be extra careful not to let the attack cat out.  Agitation, irritation, an increased argumentative attitude, bitchiness, growling, grumbling; all of these things happen in an instant and it’s harder than you would think to get the cat back in the bag once you’ve let him out.

We learn in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) to learn centering exercises that lessen the negativity and change your focus so that you’re able to move on from the anger and get your logic centers get back in business.  It’s a fundamental biological element of being human that the fight or flight triggers go off when someone verbally, ignorantly attack you.  You get ready to do one or the other.

But the internet allows for something really terrible: the fighting words set off the triggers but the attacker is not standing in front of you.  You can’t choose to physically attack (self-preservation against perceived enemies that threaten you) and you can’t really take flight because the internet is everywhere.  And we have become dependent on it socially, scientifically and in almost every single part of our lives.

Yeah, Come At Me, Bro

I am no chicken.  I don’t have to prove myself to anyone.  I don’t require affirmation or agreement.  I don’t need someone’s eternal love, don’t need acceptance or even good wishes.

But the line that this person crossed was not his personally directed insult, it was when he suggested that I was in need of taking my ‘medication’ because I was ‘crazy’.

That’s where this person crossed that line.  Does he think that everyone that he disagrees with allows him to make personally directed scornful remarks?  Does he think that those with a need for ‘medication’ are lesser beings?  Does he take pleasure in mocking people from his self-satisfied, snarky little internet throne?

Who told him that it’s okay to foster the notion that those who ‘need to be medicated’ are to be derided and put down, personally, publicly or otherwise?  His suggestion that I ‘take my medication’ just goes to show the negative attitude and childish expression of how people perceive the necessity to ‘take medication’.

I swore when I started this blog that I would learn to be an advocate for those like me who make every effort to see the world from a positive and robust point of view.  I intend to keep my oath.  I intend to make every effort to stop these kinds of attitudes from proliferating, this kind of slur being thought of as acceptable, and in this case I break from my general rule of internet respect and etiquette and deliver a message to those who use this language to put down others with this kind of negative horse crap:

That’s right, asshole.  Deal with it.

And now, back to the thing I try so hard to follow now that the internet butthead needs to be removed from my brain:



It’s never easy to try for betterment.  If it were easy, we’d all be wonderful.  But we ain’t, so I promise to keep trying and not name-call and thereby bring myself down in the eyes of the world in the process.






2 thoughts on “On Disparaging the Individual

  1. Yes, we are truly pressed to instantly summon up the depth of remembering to allow the planned and methodical ignorance & bull spewed by self-celebrated imbeciles to pass through & beyond us–hopefully not allowing premeditated insanity to achieve its goal by provoking us–all in a nano moment! Its a helluva lot easier when our radar quickly catches the fake angry concern provocation for what it is. But damn, keeping it together after being blindsided by design is still a nasty burden! Sometimes the cosmic plan requires that if lifelong jerks are to receive enlightened-laden liberation opportunity, it requires they receive for their despicable-ness that knee-jerk proverbial slap-in-the-face! Whew! Time to light a cigarette!

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